The Coming Economic Collapse

So how will we know when a bottom is in and the economy will recover? I’ve postulated a few signs (some humorous, others not so pleasant). Bear in mind, much of this is tongue in cheek. But like all sarcasm, there’s a grain of truth.

We will bottom WHEN:

• CNBC and Bloomberg start firing anchors and cutting their coverage time by hours, not minutes.
• Maria Bartiromo and Jim Cramer start telling investors to short the market with all they’ve got.
• Questions like “do you think we’re heading for a recovery” result in the questioner getting punched in the face or ignored like a loony tune.
• People HATE stocks and stock ownership has plummeted back to one in ten Americans (the pre-401(k) levels).
• Investing is no longer a hobby and people fight tooth and nail to retain their nest egg (honestly what the hell is “play” or “speculative” money?)
• The number of mutual funds has fallen by at least half (why are we paying fees for people who can’t beat the market?).
• People no longer want to get an MBA to become a broker or a financial advisor.
• Our economy is based on “making something,” not “offering advice.”
• Books about Warren Buffett no longer comprise an entire publishing industry (seriously, Amazon (AMZN) lists 5,000+ books on him).
• The Richest 500 people in the world are no longer all billionaires (never happened before in history… how’s that for concentration of wealth?)
• Guys like me are no longer writing about finance or investing but instead take up a respectable profession.

Then… we will have probably hit bottom.

Thanks to Graham Summers at Seeking Alpha blog