Famous Southern Senators: David Vitter (R) LA

Vitter’s just the latest conservative hypocrite to join the ranks of those caught indulging their private sexual fantasies while publicly advocating a lifestyle of strict Christian rectitude. In deference to the Senator, it’s quite possible that his wife has an aversion to crotchless leather panties and labial piercing that may have prompted the Senator to seek professional gratification. Caught with his penis in the honey pot, he invokes the Jimmy Swaggert defense claiming that demonic temptation precipitated his fall from grace. If he could only return every illicit orgasm he could escape the opprobrium of his sanctimonious peers. “Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous, said H.L. Mencken, “It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.”